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Addiction and Relationships: 10 Ways To Show Up For Yourself

“Showing up for yourself in the ultimate sense means that you make choices that honor your emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual needs as they arise” -Unknown

You might recognize this topic as something similar: self care. Meaning, taking care of yourself because 1. It’s important for your overall well-being, and 2. You can’t help anyone if you don’t help yourself.

Let’s go down the list and I’ll share my thoughts. Switch it up a little with some different formatting.

1. I suppose if someone asked me, I’d say yeah, I like working out. Is it the most fun thing I’ve ever done? No, but overall I like it and I know it’s good for my body but also my mind. I don’t, however, like doing it every single day. Sometimes I’m tired, sometimes I’m lazy, and sometimes I have cramps so um, no, I will not be jumping around. But, I still do it anyways. Why? Because I know the benefits and I know that even if I take it down a few notches, I’ll feel better and have that sense of accomplishment. I won’t look back and regret it; if anything, I’ll regret not doing it because I had a silly reason not to. I try to carry this mentally into everything I do, because like the book I read recently said, “It’s easy to do, and just as easy not to do.” The choice is yours, choose wisely. You’ll thank yourself later.

2. Well, I’m going to be honest with you and tell you that I struggle with this still. And that’s ok. Just like feeling negative emotions is ok. What’s not ok is making yourself feel worse because you’re giving yourself crap for it. Sure, I think if given the option we’d all love to be rays of sunshine every minute of every day, with no worry in the world. But not only is that impossible because we are human, it’s also boring and not very productive in the area of self-discovery. Life is about learning and bettering yourself, at least in part, right? I get it, I don’t really particularly like when I’m irritable and every single thing in existence sets me off (and I know no one around me likes it either). And it makes me guilt trip myself afterwards because I know I wasn’t fun to be around and should be more pleasant for my family. But things happen, and as long as I recognize it and try to do better next time, that’s all that matters.

3. Listen to your body and mind, and what it’s trying to tell you. Feeling tired? Don’t stay up late reading something interesting that you can continue with tomorrow. Feeling short-tempered? Give yourself some time by yourself, even if it’s less than 5 minutes in the bathroom while your 4 year old knocks on the door the entire time asking why you’re taking so long. The point is, don’t push yourself too far at any given moment if your body or mind is trying to tell you it needs the focus back. The rest of the world can wait.

4. Life is about going through experiences and learning from them. I struggle with this one, though, because I think, what if I had better boundaries sooner? What if I wasn’t so codependent in the beginning? What if I tried harder to be a better parent so I was more fun and less rigid? I know it would be nice to have been more “on top” of things in the past, but I can’t change that, and the only thing I can do is make sure I’m better in the future by being better now. So I’m going to make sure I know what I want and who I am, so that I can show up for myself when I need to. Plus, I’m never going to be perfect, and my family loves me for who I am.

5. As I’ve said, life is about learning and living. If you don’t get things right the first time, try again a different way, and don’t give up. Also, see number 4.

6. This one is a little similar to number 3., going along the lines of making sure you are listening to your needs. Not many people I know work well when tired or running on empty, and even if it looks like they do, it doesn’t work that way for long.

7. I’ll admit, some of these sound similar to other ones. That’s all well and good but I don’t want to repeat myself too much and risk boring you to death.

8. Yes. I love this one. I used to hate being alone because it left me with my thoughts (now that’s scary). I would hate it so much that I would try to avoid it as much as possible, when now I actually kind of like it. It’s great for fostering your sense of independence, but also for getting to know yourself. If you are always busying yourself with things to do, when can you actually slow down for yourself? How do you know what you like to do if you don’t let yourself try some stuff out on your own? That’s how I realized I like music a lot more than I thought I did, and same for podcasts. Any down time I have I put on a cool interview or story and get lost in it. And, you’ll never guess: this connects to self-care.

9. Another way to learn about yourself. Why did I react in that way? How can I act more positive and helpful in the future? Am I taking care of myself enough or am I “acting out” because I need to give myself some attention and grace?

10. Yes, we are all worthy of wonderful things and a wonderful life. And as I’ve said before, you can’t show up for someone else if you don’t show up for yourself.

So I hope this list gave you some insight on showing yourself some love and attention. Try these out, let me know what you think, and see how your world changes when you put yourself first.

It’s not selfish I swear.

We need to stop telling ourselves that.

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